How to teach your children about bullying
Bullying is more than just a challenge children face — it’s an issue that requires a proactive and supportive approach from parents, educators, and caregivers. While a lot of resources focuses on how to respond to bullying once it happens, our YMCA curricula and educators aim to prevent bullying from occurring in the first place.
In our child care programs, we are committed to fostering positive relationships, promoting emotional well-being, and creating spaces where every child feels safe, supported, and valued. With Pink Shirt Day on February 26, it’s the perfect time for meaningful conversations with children about kindness, inclusion, and standing up against bullying.
1. Building a foundation for healthy relationships
The best way to prevent bullying is to ensure children grow up in environments where positive relationships between children, educators, and caregivers are the norm.
This is at the core of the YMCA’s approach to child care and school-age programs. We nurture positive relationships by focusing on three goals:
- Educator training: Our educators learn the importance of fostering healthy relationships, modelling respectful interactions, and creating environments where every child feels included.
- Child-to-child connections: Through structured activities and free play, we encourage kindness, inclusion, and teamwork so children develop friendships built on mutual respect.
- Educator-to-child relationships: When children feel safe and supported by a caring adult, they are less likely to bully and more likely to seek help when they need it.
2. The role of developmental assets in bullying prevention
Our school-age curriculum is based on the Search Institute’s Developmental Assets Framework. This research-backed model identifies 40 key experiences and qualities essential for raising confident, kind, and resilient young people. These assets — such as supportive relationships, a sense of belonging, and positive peer influence — have been proven to help prevent bullying.
Our educators receive training to ensure these assets are embedded into daily interactions so that children experience the encouragement, guidance, and support they need to make positive choices.
3. Creating safe, supportive environments with self-regulation
A key part of preventing bullying is ensuring that children feel safe physically, emotionally, socially, and culturally. That’s why we have integrated Self-Regulation Training into our programs to create Self-Regulation Havens — places where children can manage stress in healthy ways, feel secure in their environment, and develop emotional resilience.
Self-regulation strategies help children:
- Understand and manage their emotions
- Recognize stress in themselves and others
- Build self-awareness and empathy
- Feel safe and supported in their surroundings
By teaching children how to manage frustration, fear, and anger constructively, we reduce the likelihood of conflict and bullying while equipping them with lifelong emotional skills.
4. If your child is bullied
Even with strong prevention strategies, bullying can still happen. If your child is experiencing bullying, it’s important to:
- Reassure them that it’s not their fault. Bullying is about power, not personal worth.
- Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult. Whether it’s you, an educator, caregiver, or counsellor, they should never deal with bullying alone.
- Help them identify safe spaces and supportive people. Knowing where to go and who to turn to can make a big difference by making them feel safe culturally, emotionally, physically and socially.
- Work with their child care program or school. Open communication with educators can lead to solutions that ensure your child feels safe and supported.
The YMCA uses resources from PREVNet, Canada’s leading authority on bullying prevention. They are also available for parents to provide guidance and resources when bullying occurs.
5. If your child witnesses bullying
Children often witness bullying but may not know how to respond. Bystanders have the power to make a difference by taking positive action.
Encourage your child to:
- Speak up when it’s safe. A simple “That’s not okay” can stop a bully in their tracks.
- Support the person being bullied. Inviting them to play, sitting with them at lunch, or checking in afterward can help them feel less alone.
- Tell an adult. Reporting bullying isn’t tattling — it’s taking a stand for kindness and safety.
6. If your child engages in bullying behaviour
It can be difficult to hear that your child has been unkind to others, but addressing their behaviour with understanding and guidance is essential. Bullying can stem from stress, insecurity, frustration, or difficulty managing emotions.
- Stay calm and ask open-ended questions. Instead of blaming, try to understand what’s motivating your child’s behaviour.
- Teach empathy. Help them see how their actions affect others.
- Encourage your child to make amends. A sincere apology, along with changed behaviour, helps rebuild trust.
- Model kindness and respect at home. Children learn by example.
- Seek additional support if needed. Educators, counsellors, and bullying prevention resources can help guide positive behaviour changes.
The message of Pink Shirt Day: Take action every day
Pink Shirt Day is about creating a culture of daily kindness and respect.
On February 26, encourage your child to:
- Wear pink as a symbol of their commitment to standing up against bullying
- Be mindful of how they treat others and make kindness a habit
- Speak up when they witness bullying
- Offer support to peers who may feel excluded or mistreated
By building positive relationships, teaching empathy, and fostering self-regulation, we can prevent bullying before it starts. Together, we can create an environment where every child feels valued, included, and safe.
For more resources on bullying prevention, visit prevnet.ca and Search Institute’s Developmental Assets. Let’s work together to ensure that kindness isn’t just something we celebrate on Pink Shirt Day but something we practise every day.
